Friday, November 16, 2012

Stressed Out Zombie Face

There are 3 things in this lovely world that turn me into a cannibalistic hate monster who is generally very unpleasant to be around.

1. People who say "Oh I love this part" when I'm watching a movie
2. The first 15 minutes I'm awake
3. Impending deadlines

When deadlines get me really stressed out, I get mean. Like real mean.

Which brings me to my point . . .

I had several massive assignments due the past two weeks, and it made me crazy. Let's just say that my failure to behave like an adult has a multitude of arms that extend across the far reaches of my personality. This includes (but is not limited to) an inability to budget time or money, a reluctancy to wash my pants after each wear, and a total misreading of the movie Charlie Wilson's War.

(Sidenote: it wasn't so much a misreading of Charlie Wilson's War as it was falling asleep.)

Basically, this is all just a fancy way of excusing my nasty demeanor these past few weeks and apologizing to all who stepped unknowingly in my path.

When a deadline approaches, the first thing to go is sleep.

I pulled 2 very unpleasant all-nighters in the library over the course of 2 weeks, and, let me just say, I now have a very clear understanding of what lack of sleep does to me:

This wondrous brain that God hath blessed me with becomes a gloopy mess of tapioca pudding and cheese fries. I lose all ability to function as a productive human being and slide through the world like a misinformed tree slug.

The morning after that dreadful night in the library stacks is a bit fuzzy. I remember snippets, scattered clips of my life that smear through my mind.

I do remember feeling like someone had stuffed cotton balls in every hole in my face.

I remember discovering I had left the library without retrieving anything I went there to print.

I remember being in a constant state of shivers from some mixture of fatigue, hunger, cold, and giddiness.

And I remember coming back home and laughing too hard that "Titanic" was almost called "Planet Ice."

But the rest is lost forever.

If ever there were an argument for the existence of zombies, this is it.

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